Depressions long term effects on my life after ADHD.

Friends,

Embarassing as it may seem to you it is even more embarassing to me.

I've been depressed for 6 long years. It seems one thing after another has made it worse and if not for my own not wanting to kill myself for religious resasons I hope I'm telling myself the truth here. That is scary sometimes when you are scared you are lying to yourself and don't realize it. That's why I warn against that.

Anyway, I've been down in the dumps so long I can't seem to get out and when I do I get so excited I over do-it so then I'm called bi-polar when in fact I'm just trying to be happy for a change.

You would have to read my story. I'm so heavy right now I can hardly type.

If I had any sense I'd find a way to let my doctor know but "I think I have" considering all the drugs I've tried.

I've tried going to church but I'm still not able to maintain a positive outlook for more than a few hours, a day or whatever at the most.

I had a date the 4th of July but I'm broke, have an 88 dodge that drinks gas and my dog, Boo.

The date on the 4th of July kept me positive for almost two weeks. I just felt like a liar to her and didn't want to commit to much and I'm not sure she did either. If she did who knows but she was mighty nice and compatible with me I thought.

I went for a ride to the beach with someone else but I was on ADHD drugs and I think they were anti-drug so that didn't work out either. She is nice but again I feel like a liar to say I have anything to offer since I stay down more than anyone I know.

In fact I need a miracle but I hate to give up Alabama's Football season cause that is what I have to look forward to most in my life and always have besides my family which brings me to the next problem. Which shouldn't be a problem since I was happily married most of the 24 years I was with her!

I still love my second wife the one I was with for 24 years but she has her life and I have mine if you want to call it that- a life!

I used to get hyper-depressed if you can understand what the hell that means? I wish could be hyper again that would be a good sign!!

Now I just can't get out of this down mood to save my life! I hope it is worth saving cause I never in my life thought at 44 I'd be writing this about myself and I sure don't want to be isolated but I'm afraid to get involved with anyone because most of the time I just want to be with my dog because she keeps me alive- inside if you know what I mean!

My CPU is running so slow I can't stand to sit here and I don't know how to fix it nor do I have the money so that is why I don't fix it.

I don't have a job because if I took one I'd fire myself! LOL!

Love, Peace and knowledge!

Floyd C Wooley