I'm still alive! I let myself get down in the last post, so I had to respond!

August 3, 2010 - Tuesday

I work for a Demon, Angel or I am lost but I have to respond to my own last blog!
Current mood: determined
Category: Blogging
Friends,

I let some people get to me once before and many times before that too because I don't really think God hates people that want the truth to be known and I try my best to do that although I could just be a fool.

I guess the results of my actions speak for themselves especially if I have been under the duress that I have spoken of in the past. Anything positive in my life would speak for what I beleive in and the failures?

Why can't we fail miserably at the hands of others? Has anybody ever given that any thought? I have but I'm always told that God will protect you from others and failure on your part means you are not under God's protection.

Friends I hope God has mercy on me because I feel that just maybe it is up to us to get through this life alive as long as we can and that just maybe there may be others that either feel as we do or work hard to make sure we look as foolish or as right as we can be in this life.

In my last Blog I was pretty much beaten down and feeling like I should just give up on trying to say anything about anything and that is the truth.

I haven't gone back and read my own blog because I don't really get much of a chance to do anything but once right now in my life and then I give up from "a very real pressure" that is put on me.

Friends it is not a pressure that should be put on anybody to prove anything that I can think of that anyone would ever actually experience in life- not as we have known it previously.

I'm not quite smart enough to do much more than complain about it and hope I have friends that are truly friends that make sure I make it to see something positive happen for somebody!

I could solve this whole issue if I called the right people and did the right thing at just the right moment but I have been led to beleive that I should hope for someone out here to read my blogs and understand what I really am trying to do. Let me list those things real quick while my CPU is working.
LOL!!!!

1.) Help somebody that is, thinks or maybe ADD, ADHD, depressed or otherwise living with a real condition that from what I've read on legitimate web sites and from legitimate literature is something or a combination of issues that maybe worse for some and not as bad for others. None-the-less that may need the attention of the right people or just left alone depending on the circumstances. Remember I'm not a doctor just a patient.

2.) Live long enough that anyone that interfere's with your decision may change their mind and hopefully not try to intervene based on their own beleifs. (Unless you really are a danger to yourself or others).

3.) Live long enough to see or hear of someone that really is helped but that isn't neccessary to me really but it may help my spirits but really it isn't that important except in a few people's case and that is my right to keep to myself. I Hope!

4.) I want to be allowed to do something that to this point every effort has been made to make me fail in doing for whatever reason that may be and if you think that is carzy, insane or unbeleivable well my friends it is not.

5.) What is it I want to do? Prove somebody right and prove somebody wrong.

a.) Prove I'm ADHD and knew it but was too dang busy to realize it was a life or death situation that at the time I didn't address but that I even now will not give-up on proving until I'm dead.

b.) Be allowed to build something, remodel something or do something positive with the rest of my life which is the only selfish part of my goal(s).

6.) Live out my life without hearing that what I have experienced is something that any more than the few people that have let me know they through my own observation or by their own tongue is something they have expereinced, like it or not!

Why?

Because I'd rather have someone hand me a device that I can punch the dang button "when I fall and can't get up" than to listen in or observe me from an office somewhere and not let me have the opportunity to give them consent!

Would I give such consent? Since I've never been much more than forced into a situation that would allow such a thing against my will and if you don't beleive me then I hope "God" does protect us from people with such power which friends I'm sorry to say I don't think he does.

I think he allows us to make our own decisions and I made the wrong one when I was too busy to handle a simple decision that I hadn't had much time to think about and that was to use my insurance and see the right doctor with the right tools to diagnose a real condition that wasn't all that terrible except I was too stupid to do it before I had a dang wreck and let that wreck on Pollard Road confuse people including myself for a time.

If I had a concussion I was lucky because when I fell asleep it was for a good reason not from anything else. I didn't hit a Pecan tree for some reason and it sure wasn't because I was looking for one because my head was pinned to the steering wheel by plywood and either knocked out or about to have that plywood wake me up!

Now why didn't I call the police? I didn't think it was necessary and I did have a hurricane bearing down on us that I knew I wanted to be at home to prepare for after all most of us in the South that are on high ground stay for the things because we are just that way!

Later that night I may have wished I had but with that storm going on the only thing I remember is a Humvee coming down the road in the Eye of the storm. Was it really a humvee? Hell I don't know!

As for Ty Pennington. Hell he must have some support around him too and I hope he and I wind up being the longest living people on the planet that claim in public we are ADHD, ADD or in case depressed because someone thinks otherwise! You know I don't think I feel that way either, that was just some bravado on my part.

My dog is driving me nuts right now over supper think God otherwise I'd have given up a long time ago! If you own, no share a life with a dog- because I think they get to where they think they own us!

I made myself go four days (almost) with no ADHD meds and if not for some bills and life to attend to I would have not taken any for a few more days to prove you do get back to your hyper self if you have time to get over being beaten down mentally and harassed off your precription but I did hold onto one (1) yes one Adderall XR by Shire and for God's sake I doubt it made me want to give up!

How would I prove otherwise? Like I said I might have had a high I.Q. on Dr. Mace's results but I couldn't finish paying the bill to get the results to have here in hand to prove that and even so it doesn't mean a thing if you are made out to be an idiot by everyone else!

Love, Peace and knowledge might be the proper three things all human beings need and reading my blog gives you some knowledge like it or not but that's okay.

Read something that has some background even if you have to get out the old Encyclopedia and look up somethings you never thought of looking up!

Other wise be careful what you read and beleive including what I say without taking the time to back it up- please not from somebody trying to sell some "fish oil"! LOL!

What was the old term? "Snake oil"!

Sincerely,

Floyd Clifton Wooley

Read more: http://www.myspace.com/fcliff/blog?page=2#ixzz0vozC3RmY